There needs to be more hours in the day, more PMA

Ive watched a few movies lately that are vastly different yet they share a common theme - lying, cheating, and stepping on other peoples toes is the only way to get ahead in this world. They got me thinking about what we are bred as Americans to believe and wheither or not there is an underlying culture of fuck the guy next to you over. "Bigger , Stronger, Faster" is a rad documentary on steroids in American culture and the social network is well, the social network. Both great films for sure. I do think as a culture we are all trying to set ourselves ahead of the competition. This is what makes us have that drive needed to make astonishing things happen but i think what we define as the "competition" has become anyone and everyone. Especially in the creative world, there's so much shit and attitude floating around that it can become the focus instead of focusing on the creating. Check this film out if you can.


The last year has been humbling for me in the sense that Ive spent a lot of time thinking about why Ive put so much stock into what other people think about me and where other people think my life should be. As a result Ive pulled myself in various directions to please various people in my life. That's not a bad thing, I love where I am, I love my life, and I love the growth path I'm on. Particularly this year, Ive taken the time to sort out what things I truly want to do and Ive made the focus on me, my growth, what pleases me. Sounds selfish right? It is. Im ok with that, to be any good to anyone else i need to be good to myself too. Lets be real, we all want to be appreciated by the people we look up to and appreciate, we all want that positive attention from others but it cant be at the cost of what you truly want. I became interested in so many different things in the last few years and went in so many paths that there's no way i could fit them all in. A very smart women asked me once if i wanted to be "kinda good at a bunch of things or AMAZING at the one thing". The American in me wants to think i could do it all amazing but those people that are amazing at what they do dedicate themselves entirely to what they love and that's what Im going to focus on. What I love, what I want, and I'm gonna leave all that other noise behind.
Oh yeah, I'm starting on a new portrait of my favorite crazy actors. Heres a layout